Saturday, 12 September 2009

  • To Lose A Pet

    Today at work, we lost a beautiful golden retriever to heartworm disease. It was very sad. She was given her treatment and afterwards, she crashed. Her owner was notified who promptly showed up at the clinic to say good bye.

    I watched her hunched over her dog's body, her own body shaking with each sob. This was her best friend, her companion, and now she was gone. As I watched her I thought "This could be her husband or her child or her mother." It kind of hit me how profoundly it affects us to lose a pet.

    I thought back to the first pet I remember losing. It was my cat. She had gone out, like she normally did, and she never came back. My brother found her a couple days later laying in a ditch, having been hit by a car. I remember very little about it all except that I cried a lot. And I remember my brother's dog, Georgie, had been hit by a semi. She got caught in the fuel lines and was dragged...well, I'll stop there. I remember the stark realization that she was gone. Not outside, not missing...gone. And she wasn't coming back. Ever.

    The loss of a pet is a grief that one probably cannot grasp unless they have been through it, like the grief of losing a child or a parent. I sometimes think that people may underestimate how much it hurts to lose an animal. I deal with deaths of animals almost very day at work. Even though they are not my pets, I am affected by it. It makes me sad and perhaps part of me revisits the deaths of my previous pets. I have my own animals and I know one day will come when I will have to say good bye to them. I hope when that day comes I will be ready. Somehow I doubt I will.

    Thanks for reading.

    Jenn

  • A Word On Hate

    How easy it is, to sit at a computer, and be anonymous...and attack people just for the hell of it. It's quite simple really. You just need a computer and half a brain and you can hate on anyone and no one will ever kick your ass for it, because the magic of the internet allows us to be unknown. There is far too much hate in the world but, now that we have the internet and YouTube, it is at unprecedented levels.  But there is something that the haters don't realize.  Hate is consuming.  See, first you start hating one group of people, like Muslims. You look at your life and you are 49 and you are not where you thought you would be. You work way too hard and you just gotta blame someone for how your life turned out. So, you decide it's all the Muslims fault, instead of the crappy choices you made for yourself.  But, it doesn't end there, you know. After a while, you decide that the Jews had a hand in creating your difficult life. So you hate them. Then your wife walks out, now you hate women.  WHEN YOU START LETTING HATE INTO YOUR HEART, IT WILL FILL YOUR HEART, LEAVING NO ROOM FOR ANYTHING ELSE! Hate is dark and it feels like hell. Think about it, when you are talking shit about someone, when you are hating on them, you are generally not in a great mood when you do it. Dark and feels like hell, and fills your heart. Why...would anyone want that?  But, there is some good news........
    Love fills your heart, too.  WHEN YOU START LETTING LOVE INTO YOUR HEART, IT WILL FILL YOUR HEART, LEAVING NO ROOM FOR ANYTHING ELSE! But, love is light, and it feels really good and, believe it or not, it takes much less energy than hate.  Get that? LESS ENERGY THAN HATE.
    Of course, if you live in hate, if you live in anger, it will be difficult to change your thinking but, it can be done.  I will be praying that everyone who reads this will choose to live and act in love, that they will choose not to hate.

    Thanks for reading.

    Jenn

  • My Rubik's Life

    I found my old Rubik's cube today. Who remembers those? I still can't solve it but, the fun for me is in the trying. For any of you that don't know what a Rubik's cube is, google it. So there I sit, playing with my cube, twisting, turning, trying to reason a solution. I can only get one side, that is the most I have ever been able to get in the 20+ years it has been in existence. And it occurs to me that my Rubik's is kind of like my life. I only ever seem to be able to get one or two sides of my life in order at one time. If my job is going good, my parenting is lacking. If my marriage is good, my job is lacking. Seems like I get all the red but, the other five sides are still jumbled. I can get the blue but in order to do that, I have to mess up the red.
         But...I keep turning, keep trying to find that solution. Maybe one day I will solve it on accident, ya know? I will be turning and twisting and trying and BOOM...all the sides will be in order.

    Thanks for reading.

    Jenn

  • Mothers Who Don't

    I was in the grocery store today. While there I witnessed what I consider to be an award-winning display of a temper tantrum by a young man who had to be-get this-at least 7 years old. I had visions of him at the podium on Oscar night, thanking those that made that tantrum possible. It was a very sickening display and I promptly told my daughter how proud I am that she has grown past all of that nonsense. Yes, Katie used to throw tantrums on me but, she didn't do it very many times. Why? My guess is she figured out early on that it wasn't going to work. What was worse than the child throwing the tantrum was the mother. NO effort was made to remove the child from the store. One of the things I taught Katie early on was if she was going to launch into an all out tantrum, she would be taken out of the store. I never did and I never will allow her to embarass herself or me in such a way. And, I just happened to get behind them in line. So, what does this kid get for all his bitching, whining, crying, pissing, moaning, and begging? He gets Cheetos. That's right, mom bought him a bag of Cheetos and gave them to him before they were even out of the store. Congrats, Mom! You can now be assured, he will act like that EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU TAKE HIM TO THE STORE! He got rewarded for acting the way he did. You parents, you know what I am talking about. In my house, tempers will get you squat! And the sad thing is, she didn't do him any favors. That kid is gonna grow up not taking no for an answer. Yes, he will make quite the HUSBAND with an attitude like that.
    Parents, please...no means no. Don't give in, don't coddle, and don't let them embarass themselves. Love your children enough to set and stick to rules.

    Thanks for reading.

    Jenn

Thursday, 10 September 2009

  • I Usually Don't But...

    I usually don't blog about controversial subjects. I have my opinion, others have theirs, and I just like to leave it at that. But, I overheard a discussion today on abortion and it really bothered me how judgemental one person was being. The words "sinner" and "whore" were used in the conversation. I used to call myself pro-life and, in many respects I still am. I was thinking today of when I got pregnant. My pregnancy was not planned. I was not ready...AT ALL! There was a lot of stuff I still wanted to do and knew that a baby would make doing them more difficult, if not impossible. And I knew that I was with someone who was all wrong for me. But...there I was, pregnant. When considering my options, I seriously-SERIOUSLY-considered abortion.

    In the end, I decided to keep my baby. I am glad I made that choice, it was right for me. BUT...that's me. I don't know the burden carried by another woman. I don't know what has led her to the clinic on any given day. I don't live her life. As a Christian, I know I am expected to be pro-life...oh well. I do pray for all the women who find themselves in a position where they feel that is their only option. But, it is THEIR option. Now I label myself as pro-choice. And for those who don't realize it, pro-choice DOES NOT mean pro-abortion. It means that I realize that I can't decide what's right for everyone, only myself. I hope more women will choose to give their babies up for adoption, or tough it out as single mothers.

    Whatever decision they make...it's THEIR decision.

    Thanks for reading,

    Jenn

bluepaws09

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    • Name: bluepaws09
    • Location: United States
    • Birthday: 1/21/1973
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/31/2009

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